It was a Wednesday morning. I walked in my weekly sales meeting, with my left hand neatly concealed behind my ever-present legal pad. As a sales manager I was asked if I had anything to add and I definitely did. I got up and told everyone about a new sales website where we could post presentations, recaps, share information, etc. I also had a personal note to add, so I said, “By the way, I got engaged last night.” The look of shock on everyone’s face was priceless. I’m pretty sure most people had no idea that I was in a relationship for the last four months so it was like a little bomb going off in the meeting. For everyone it seemed like it was something that happened really fast, superfast considering most people didn’t know about the relationship.
I love the reactions people give. People say you know right away if you have found the one. I don’t know about that. I guess given the short period of time it took before we decided to get married I guess maybe subconsciously I did. Some people did share their apprehension about the quickness of our decision. They said things like, how can you know, you barely know him, are you sure? I will concede that this was a whirlwind relationship, but I was confident in my decision because as I would tell people, “I may not have been dating this guy long, but when it comes to dating, I’ve done the research.”
I must confess that prior to this I only had one long term relationship. All were 6 months or less and my general rule for dating was two weeks, two dates or two months which ever came first - that was the shelf life of most relationships. Yes, I pursued the dating world with the veracity of on Olympic athlete. I would and did go out with pretty much anyone. Some I knew were bad choices, others were great choices but they were just not in to me, some probably should have been in jail but whether ex convict or hedge fund manager (but really in most cases, are they that different….and in at least one instance one in the same) I dated them.
This is not a declaration of slut-ti-tude. Most of these dates didn’t get past the first date or handshake or hug. As much as sometimes I feel like I don’t like people, I find them fascinating. I also try to see the best in people. Don’t try to reconcile the last three lines, when it comes to all of this I’m a walking contradiction and I haven’t figured it out myself. The bottom line is that I would give anyone a chance. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve hated to be rejected or I don’t like to reject or what, but I guess I am an optimist at heart.
A prime example of my Olympic dedication to the dating world happened just after I left law school. After a few years of zero social life, (no dating included) I felt the need to jump in with both feet. As you know I met my husband through an online dating service, but truth be told that was not my first run at that rodeo. After I left school I gave myself a mission: 30 dates in 30 days. It was a personal challenge; one that I was up for, primed and ready to hit the ground running. And hit the ground I did. I posted my profile and began vetting the barrage of emails and winks.
The challenge of the 30 dates in 30 days was not so much getting 30 candidates lined up; it was more of a logistical challenge. Going on a date every day was a little taxing, so I had to double and triple stack. For example, breakfast coffee date on a Saturday, then cocktails at 6 with one guy, 7 with another; meet up with the girls at 8. If I have good administrative skills, I think I owe it in part to keeping all these people, dates, times in check.
The guys I had my 30 minutes or less dates with were all doctors, lawyers, business guys – on paper all decent. Unfortunately or fortunately, none really interested me. It was a great exercise though. It forced me to get out and meet people, to stay optimistic (which led me to try the online things years later which led to my husband). And that’s the bottom line; so many people asked me where to meet people, friends that recently had got divorced or people who never got married. It’s not brain surgery. It’s sales, the more calls you make (especially in person ones) the better chances you have of getting the deal closed.
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